I love walking around Hoboken. That being said, I don't care for the stares that I get from Moms when they realize that I'm the Nanny. It's kind of like "Look at me! I'm a Mom!" Whereas I'm like, "Good God. How corny are you?" It's really a Hoboken thing I think. It reminds me of a game where who is doing things better.
This is a great topic because I am happy to see that other Nannies experience this. This email is from a Hoboken Nanny named Simmy.
"Most days when I get to work, on the kitchen table are personal documents. Bank statements, bills, blood work results, the list goes on. I don't know why the Parents feel the need to lay these out in the open. I wonder if they think that I don't look. I guess they don't care that I see how much money is in their bank account or their tax forms for the year at tax time with their salary on it. I'm happy with it because now I know how much I can ask for when my raise comes around. But it's none of my business, Parents, to know that you have an STD and that your bank account has $1,000 in it. But thanks for letting me know."
Sometimes I have to deal with family members who come and visit the family that I Nanny. Whether it's Aunt's and Uncle's or Grandparents, I don't really care to deal with them because then I feel like I become a slave instead of a Nanny. Picking up coffee cups and glasses left on the table. It's really not my job. Why else do I find them annoying? Because I hear things like "Oh yeah, she(the Mom) will be potty training X soon."
Did you just say that the "Mom" will be potty training her kid? In reality, did you mean that me, the "Nanny" will be potty training her kid? Because that's what I thought you said.
Do family members really think that the Parents raise their kids?
Let's take a look.
Parents have a Nanny(me) because they chose to have a Nanny while they work 50+ hours a week. So, by the time the Parents get home, they put the kids to bed. I feed them dinner, I give them a bath, I get them ready for bed.
Tell me how are the Parents raising their kids?
It's about time that Parents fess up and say who really does the potty training. Because it sure as hell isn't them!
I got an email from a Hoboken Nanny named Erica. Here's her email:
"I have already taken all of my vacation for the year and to make up for it the family wants me to work on christmas. Its a legal holiday and I celebrate christmas so I should have it off. What do I do?"
Well, Erica, simply tell them you are not working. If they also celebrate Christmas then there is no reason to have you work. If they don't celebrate Christmas then you tell them that you do celebrate and have plans with family. You need to tell them that it's a legal holiday that you would get off regardless of using your holiday time. Case closed.
And Parents, wtf are you thinking asking your Nanny to work on a legal holiday? You want her to work, then guess what? Holiday pay kicks in. Regardless if you celebrate Christmas. It's a holiday. You pay holiday rates for Christmas, New Year's Eve, and New Year's Day. It's one thing to work on Kwanzaa or Hanukkah since those holiday's last for days. It's another to work on Jesus' Birthday.
I'm not sure what made me think of this but I have to tell you. Over the Summer, I take my charges to Madison Park to play in the water. And while I was applying sunscreen to the kids, I looked over and not 3 feet away from me was a little girl. This girl had to be at least 6 years old. She was nude from the waist down and she was just standing there peeing. No, I'm not kidding. Next to her was either her Grandma or Nanny. I could not hold back my disgust for what was going on. So, for the first time ever, I yelled at not only the girl, but the old hag watching her. I was not nice because there is a Port-o-potty there for a reason.
I get that every child in that park in the summer most likely pees in the water area. That's fine because it goes down the drains(hopefully). But what's not okay is when a kid, this girl, decided to pee near the fence. But it wasn't even in the dirt area near the fence. It was on the sponge part where people lay their things. I felt bad for the people next to her because they only had towels on the ground.
I was at Church Square Park earlier. This other Nanny and I were talking and she asked me what to do about negotiating pay for a new child. Before giving my advice, I asked her what she wanted to do. She told me that she's going to ask for double. I asked her to say it again. She said double. I said "as in double per hour? So, say you make $15, you're going to ask for $30 per hour?" She said yes. And my mouth dropped. I told her good luck and I moved on.
While, yes, Nannies should be making that amount. Honey girl, no one will ever pay you $30 per hour here. This is not NYC. This is Hoboken. While we were 1 mile away from NYC. This is Hoboken.
Does ANYONE, I mean ANYONE that is a child Caregiver make more than $25 per hour in this town?
If you do, I want to hear from you.
Comment below or email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com
Man's best friend. Your pup and it's dogwalker. The person comes everyday and walks your number 1.5 in your life. Or maybe the pup is your number 1 and your kids are 1.5. Anyway. Your dogwalker is also your employee. You can't forget about the person who makes sure your dog doesn't pee or poop all over your floor or mink coat, or Tory Burch shoes while you're at work.
So. What to give?
A dogwalker's holiday bonus is one week's pay.
If there are a couple of different people who walk your dog, then split it, $50 a person. But that all depends on how often each person is there.
Don't forget to thank him or her in a card as well. The card doesn't have to be as mushy as your card to your Nanny or Sitter because afterall, you probably never see your dogwalker. But they are still a part of your puppy's life.
Many families in Hoboken have a Babysitter. Whether it is for after the Nanny leaves for the day or for a family with a child in daycare or school, and even when a stay-at-home Parent needs time away from the kid. Most Parents wouldn't be able to do anything without their Sitter. So, they should not be forgotten at holiday time. You may see your Babysitter once or a few times a week. You may see your Sitter a few times a month, but that doesn't mean you can forget the holiday gift. Does your Sitter love your kids? Is he/she reliable? Then, yes, you need to give a gift.
First, write a card. The same type of card as you would a Nanny(see below.)
Second, the monetary amount should be, in my opinion, at least $100. Feel free to give more if you really love your Sitter. What the Today Show said in my notes from 2009 was "at least one night's pay." But do NOT think it is acceptable to go out the night you give a gift and it be a cheap night. Say if you go out for 2 hours. No. That's like a slap in the face. If you appreciate your Sitter(s) then show it. If you have multiple sitters, well, you should give everyone a nice tip.
And third, give a gift card to their favorite coffee shop/somewhere else they would enjoy. We have 3 Starbucks and 3 Dunkin Donuts in town. Surely the Sitters would love a gift card to get a cup of coffee so they can stay awake to watch your brats.
Here's the person who looks after your kid(s) day in and day out. The one person whom you have trusted enough to raise your little ones. It's almost holiday time and you want to know how to show your Nanny how much you appreciate her, right? Here are a few tips to ensure that your Nanny will feel appreciated and can guarantee she stays with you until you fire her!
First, you should get a nice card and write how much you appreciate her. I've gotten a few cards that have made me cry because they were so sweet. You should make your Nanny cry like that. She will love it.
Second, within the card, put some monetary value. A Nanny should receive AT LEAST one week of pay as a bonus. Should you feel inclined, you can give more than one week. One family once gave me over $1,000 as a bonus and they were by no means wealthy. They were appreciative. In return, I was very very grateful. Remember: this is a suggestion. You can do what you want, but I recommend taking my advice.
Third, also include a gift. This is usually given "from the child" even though the kid didn't pick it out. A gift can include: a spa gift card, a gift card to a store, an iPad, a designer purse, a piece of nice jewelry. Anything of value. I'd like a David Yurman bracelet. Hint hint. But that kind of stuff is suggested.
Your love for your Nanny during the Holiday Season proves what type of people you are and your kindness. Nannying is no easy job (and I'm sure your job isn't easy either) but Nannies raise the Number One part of your life.
The boys and I were walking on Washington, going home from a class. And right before my eyes I saw a little boy(not who I watch) jet out right into the street. I almost choked at the sight of it and I put the brake on the stroller and ran after him. Wouldn't you know, his lazy ass Nanny BARELY ran after him. I didn't catch the little boy's name or the Nanny's name, but I wish the cops were around. The Nanny had the balls to yell at the boy for running into the street. No, Nanny, how about I yell at you(which I did) for not holding the boy's hand. Damn, I hate irresponsible Nannies.
The little boy was safe and the Nanny got her ass screamed at by me. It was not a pretty sight. Deep down I hope the Parents never find out about this because they would be so upset. But they have every right to know that their Nanny sucks ass.
Let me talk about who should receive a bonus. I came across some papers that I have kept since 2009. I remember I was watching the Today Show and Matty was talking to God knows who about Holiday Season bonuses and who gets what. I wrote it down because my friend received nothing in holiday bonuses that year. I showed her the scribble. I can't get over how much of a hoarder I am for keeping these papers.
Anyhoo, here's the list of people you should show your appreciation towards:
1) Nannies and Sitters
3) Dog walkers
4) Landscapers but this rarely applies to anyone in Hoboken
5) Mailmen/women if you know who yours is
So keep this in mind for Hannukah, if any of these people in your life are Jewish. And if not, Christmas is just around the corner!
Tomorrow, I will write up how much moolah to give each person.
ALSO! DON'T FORGET TO LIKE "HOBOKEN NANNY" ON FACEBOOK
Through the years as a Nanny and Babysitter, I have received monetary gifts, along with a present which included a day at the spa, a designer purse, things that I mentioned in passing that I liked, wine, just to name a few. I've had a family give me nothing. And when you give nothing, the long term commitment of your Nanny or Babysitter may soon disappear. So, I don't advise you give nothing. (Believe me. When you work your butt off to make sure the family and children are happy and well taken care of, it's a slap in the face to not receive anything.) Parents would be surprised at how much the bonus impacts the long term success of your Babysitter or Nanny continuing to work with you. It's huge...and I'm not just saying that.
First things first, you should always give your Nanny or Babysitter a monetary bonus. (I will get into how much per each category.) This part of the bonus shows how much you appreciate her/him. Do they clean up your dirty dishes in the sink? Do they go above and beyond to make your life easier? Does your Babysitter do things that weren't "in the job description." So, now is the time to show them how much you love your Nanny/Sitter and appreciate all they do.
Typically, most families take a vacation during Christmas time. Come January 2nd when everyone is back at work, it's up to you, the Parents, to determine whether your Nanny/Sitter will be happy for 2014.
Ok, I still can't get through my head what happened yesterday. I was walking up Washington. Naturally, lots of tantrums because Parents don't know how to handle their kids. One kid in particular didn't want to wear his coat. He was in tears. While normally I would say "who cares," this time I wouldn't. But then if you don't make your kid wear his coat, then when it's 20 degrees, he'll pull the same crap. So, sorry kid, Hoboken Nanny says you wear the coat.
But that wasn't the bad part.
Get ready for this one...
There was a family of 4. One kid who was about 5 years old, another was about 1 in a stroller. While the Parents were looking at a menu in the window of a restaurant, they were paying no attention to the 1 year old. So what happened you ask? The 1 year old decided to lean out of the stroller and I kid you not, FELL OUT RIGHT ON HIS HEAD. Like are you f'ing kidding me? I ran right over to help, but he was "fine." So on my way I went. But seriously, Parents!!! What is wrong with you! You always keep an eye on your kid in a stroller!!!
But this brings up some thoughts in my head. If a Nanny were with the kid at the time of that happening, the Nanny would be arrested for negligence. But somehow, when a Parent fails, it's written off as "it's their kid, they can do what they want." No...those Parents failed to watch the safety of their children. THEY should be arrested.
What do you think of this?
Email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com or comment below!
ALSO! DON'T FORGET TO LIKE HOBOKEN NANNY ON FACEBOOK
I got an email from a Manny! He lives and works in Hoboken. His name is Eric. Meet Eric.
Here's his question:
"Hoboken Nanny, I am a part time Manny to an awesome little dude. He is 6. I pick him up from school and hang out with him until about 7pm everyday. His Parents wanted a Manny because the dad works long hours and is rarely around. I love this kid. I get really sad for him when he talks about the things he wants to do with his dad and I know that it won't happen. I know it's not my business to talk to the dad but I can't help but feel pure sadness. How can I get rid of these feelings?"
Eric, this is one of the worst situations. My advice is to just be there for him. Listen to what he wants to do with his Dad. If he doesn't get to do these things with him then you can try and do them with him. If it involves going somewhere and you're unable to go to that place, then just remember that it's out of your hands. Try to make everyday together a fun day. You are his father figure, but not his dad. If his dad can't make time for him then try to fulfill those expectations. They chose you for a reason!
I want to know how everyone has done this week with the adjustment of daylight savings. The kids hopefully got an extra hour of sleep, but their bodies still think it's one hour later. There were some meltdowns due to tiredness but that's totally normal. Anyone else?
I'm bringing up the Micro Manage Mama again. This woman bothered me and the more I think about her, the more it makes me remember how awful she was.
Anyway, so one day, she got home from work early. She said hi to the kids and then disappeared. (Nope, didn't say hi to me) Now remember, these are the kids who just sucked at life and were the brattiest brats ever. They told me to go home(yes, the brats told me) but then I continued to sit there since we were playing a game. Like I was going to listen to them, but I wish I would have. So, the MMM disappeared and the kids were like WTF. So, they barged into her room. What was she doing? She was watching TV in bed. Uhhhh, W-T-F WOMAN? Here I am playing a board game with your brats and you are laying in bed watching TV?????
So, the kids got in bed with her. I sat on the couch from 3:30pm-5:30 and did nothing, while the 3 of them slept. Then at 5:30, the dumb Mom came out and asked if I started dinner. Obviously I didn't because why would I when everyone was sleeping? Idiot. So, at 6:15, the kids got out of bed, and the dinner I made was ready. Yes, I made dinner while the Mom was home and doing nothing. Ugh, she sucked so much ass.
Why did I sit there, all alone for two hours? Because I'm a loyal and reliable Nanny and since it wasn't my time to leave, I sat there and waited.
Lazy ass MMM made me so mad that day that two weeks later I gave my two weeks notice. That's what ya get!
I received this great topic from someone who signed the email as "Nanny in Hoboken." (I'm totally fine with not signing your given name, by the way.)
Let's talk about this. Nannying with Parents around can be explained like this: when working in corporate world, it's very uncomfortable having your boss around, right? So, Nannying with your boss around is no exception. It's kind of like, we do things one way, and the Parents do things another way, so when everyone is around, the kid becomes a doofus. Kids don't know who to ask so they can get the outcome they want, and it's a Disaster with a capital D. As I've said before, kids are different people around different adults.
My belief is that if Parents are going to be around with Nanny, they either need to completely take care of the kids or they need to be invisible. Meaning, go in your room and don't come out or go somewhere for the day. The worst thing to deal with is a crying, whining child whose Mom or Dad keep walking in and out of the room. It's like a big tease for the kids.
This topic also brings me to the Stay at Home Mom who has a Nanny or a Sitter to watch the kid(s) while Mom does house chores. No, it can't work like that. Especially on a rainy day like today. If the child doesn't understand that Mom will be around, it makes it very difficult for the Caregiver to be able to have fun with the child.
A child doesn't want the Nanny, they want the Parent. Remember that!
We were in Church Square Park this morning, as usual, and I saw this woman with brown curly hair and her son. He was playing in the area close to 4th Street. He was getting bored, so the Mom opened the gate and out ran the boy. He was probably 4 years old, but a very tall 4 year old. So without warning, the Mom ran after him and put him in his stroller.
Sidenote: why does a 4 year old still sit in a stroller? How lazy can you make a kid? As soon as the kid is capable of walking without stopping and getting tired, ditch the stroller.
Anyway, of course, the kid started to cry. Does anyone know why he started to cry? Because the Mom decided to discipline him for something that he didn't know he did wrong.
Here's how the situation should have gone down: The Mom notices the kid is bored. The Mom should say "Honey, would you like to go to another area?" The kid says "yes" and the Mom says "Ok, but you need to hold my hand as we walk to another area and if you don't listen, we are going home."
Is it that difficult?
Sometimes I see both Parents and Nannies discipline a child for something that they don't know his wrong. Explain the situation and give a consequence. Not difficult, people. Why would you want to deal with crying in the middle of Church Square when all you had to do was communicate. Dummies!
I got this Email from Mary who lives in Jersey City but is a Nanny here in Hoboken.
"Hi Hoboken Nanny. I am contemplating whether I should quit my job. I really love the kids. But the mom is unbearable to work with. She never takes my side if the kids say negative things about me. When she's around the kids will tell me to go home and that they don't like me. I can handle it, but shouldn't the mom discourage the behavior? I am always very vocal about this, even with the mom around. I have been with them since they were babies but now that they are talking, I am not getting backed up with encouraging positive behavior. What should I do?"
Mary, here's what needs to happen: you need to tell the kids that it's unacceptable to say that someone. Ask them how they would feel if someone said it to them and then talk about it. But, you're right. The Mom should be on your side. She should discourage the behavior...that's her job as a Parent. If she doesn't know that it annoys you, then pull her aside and tell her that you've talked about it with the kids and now it's her turn to be on your side. It's pure evil if she isn't on your side because deep down, maybe she likes hearing her kids say those things. But as part of the family (because that's what you are as the Nanny) everyone is on the same side.
I just realized that Hannukah is in 3 weeks. I believe it starts on Thanksgiving Day. Maybe the night before? I'm not sure how Jewish holiday's work. (Can someone tell me?)
This means, if your Nanny, Babysitter, Cleaning person, Dog walker, Teacher, or anyone who HELPS you, celebrates Hannukah, then their holiday bonus should be given then. Afterall, why should someone whose holiday is earlier than Christmas wait until Christmas?
I will post NEXT WEEK what Parents should be doing for these wonderful people in your life and what Nannies/Babysitters, Cleaners, Dog walkers should be doing for their bosses.
I'm just curious, but why do Parents want a Nanny who also does house work? I'm not one of those Nannies, however, when I look at job postings on various Sitter sites, I notice that almost every posting is for a Nanny or Sitter who also will do "housekeeping."
Here's what I do in terms of cleaning: cleaning up after meals and snacks, if there's a mess made by the kids I'll vacuum, kids laundry, and occasionally, I'll unload the dishwasher. I don't enjoy unloading it, but I'll do it once in awhile to help the Parents.
But what annoys me is this one posting in Hoboken where the family needs school drop off and then have the person go back to their apartment to clean. WHAT IS THAT? Nannies are not slaves and anyone stupid enough to agree to that job is dumb. It's one thing to clean up after the kids as a Nanny, but get a housekeeper if you need cleaning.
I really had a wonderful time with my charges on Halloween. They were so adorable in their costumes. I took them to the parade and we did some trick-or-treating on Washington before the Parents came to meet us and they continued through the evening. Washington was full of adorable ghouls and really couldn't have been anymore crowded. Nonetheless, it was Halloween!
Let me go over things I saw:
-Lots of Nannies taking their charges trick-or-treating
-Lots of Nannies being slaves and pushing strollers while Parents take the kids trick-or-treating. Really, Parents? Let your Nanny leave early.
-Parents unable to handle their children
-The parade sucked. Seriously. Two floats? Lame.
-Awful candy given out on Washington. Cheapskate stores.
The Importance of Having the Same Nanny/Babysitter
It is very important that Parents understand that children love consistency. Having the same Nanny for as long as you can is very important for a child's development. It's great when a child can easily say bye in the morning when Parents leave. Some people may think that if they have a different Nanny every year or multiple Sitters, it will help their child gain independence. However, having different people come into your children's lives isn't healthy. It doesn't let them develop a healthy attachment.
So, here's some good advice on helping maintain a Nanny or Babysitter.
1) Sometimes a Nanny or Sitter may quit because of lack of respect. Be respectful to them. It's not about how the kids treat the Nanny/Sitter, it's about 98% how the Parents treat her. Parents say "thank you" and overall, ask how the Nanny/Sitter is. Be interested in her life.
2) Treat the Nanny/Sitter well. Meaning, respect. If your kids say rude things, back up the Nanny, not your kids. For example, if your child becomes a devil when a Parent is around and say things like "I don't like her" to your Sitter, it is the Parents obligation to knock it off. When Parents don't show respect to the Nanny/Sitter, the kids won't.
3) Stop being cheap. You get what you pay for. Want a fantastic, reliable Caregiver? Pay like you want one.
4) Don't micro manage. No one likes that person.
5) Your Nanny/Sitter's word should always be the right word. Believe her. You hired her because you trust her.
A long long time ago, I Nannied for a family with two awful brats. I'm not just calling them brats to be funny. They were truly awful brats. They were the worst when the Parents were around and just completely disrespectful. One day, we were on a playdate and the 5 year old girl decided to poop her pants. No big deal. It happens. So, I cleaned her up and borrowed some clothes to get home in. I put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag. Everything was fine. So, as you know from previous posts, the Mom was the Micro Manage Mama. (I think I wrote about her in August. The one who always called on my off time, who would tell me what the kids can eat..blah blah.) We got home. I made dinner, gave the kids a bath, everyone was great. While the Mom was on her way home, she called me(as usual) and asked how the playdate was. I told her that X pooped her pants and it was no big deal. From the time we hung up to the time she got home, she had called the playdate Mom to see how I handled the situation. Are you f'ing kidding me, lady? Did I not just tell you that everything was fine???? The Mom got home and had the BALLS to tell me that she spoke with the playdate Mom to see how it went. F YOU! No wonder I quit! Parents, if you don't trust your Nanny, DON'T HAVE A NANNY.