This one Mom that I Nannied for was one of the coldest people that I've ever met. She was physically unable to talk about certain topics and would get unbelievably psycho. Like, if I knew of a day off way in advance, she would ignore me. I'm talking like 10 months in advance. I guess it was weird for me to even bring it up that far in advance considering I may quit by then. You just never know. But, after working with her for a few months, I realized that is who she was. She always spoke so highly of me, but her actions didn't. I enjoyed the kids, but I was never fully comfortable around her. I enjoyed when she left for the day because I wouldn't have to tip toe around a topic. I ENJOYED working with her through a notebook. The Mom never became a "friend" despite her trying, but whenever I would communicate certain things, she would push me away. My favorite part of this woman...she always told me that I was family. But in my family, we don't treat people that way. Maybe in hers.
So here's my confession: I don't care for families that don't treat me like family. If I need a day off, don't ignore me. Instead, tell me that's fine and you'll make it work. And to families that tell me that I'm part of the family, please don't tell me that. Just treat me like it.
It's a known fact that kids act differently around different people. Of course they know how to manipulate Mom and Dad or get everything they want with Grandma and Grandpa. But what about Nanny? Parents sometimes don't understand how different kids are. When I tell a Parent that they kid ate lima beans with me, they almost fall over and faint. So, what is so hard to believe? Well, for starters, kids know what they can and can't get away with around certain people. They know that if they ask for a sip of water before bed with Mom and Dad, that will delay going to sleep. Because every time Mom and Dad fall for it and think their kid is actually thirsty, right? Wrong. The kid isn't thirsty. So here is a list of things that I find annoying about Parents(more so about the kids who do these things, but they get away with it, so I can't be annoyed with those cute little things!)
1) Putting your kid in front of the TV and then Parents complain that they watch too much TV. - Well, what do you think? A kid will just get up and stop watching TV? No, Parents. You let them watch. They don't know that too much TV isn't good for them. It is your responsibility to go turn it off. Let it cause a tantrum.
2) Saying that your kid eats too much junk food. Again. You are the Parent. If your kid won't eat a solid meal, stop giving so many potato chips and cookies.
3) Not letting your child cry. Let the kid cry. Especially if it's because he dropped his toy. You are setting your child up for failure if you don't let them learn disappointment.
4) Doing every little thing for the kids. I once Nannied for a 4 year old girl who was unable to dress herself because her Parents dressed and undressed her everyday. Be patient with your kids. Learning how to dress and undress themselves is a basic neccessity in life. A 3 year old should know how to do this. I'd love to be that girl where everything was done for me, however, that is not reality. Learning independence is the best thing for a child(whether or not we want them to be!)
5) I say this one a lot: Diversifying your childs palette. If you don't want a kid who only eats chicken nuggets and mac and cheese, then stop giving it. Do not give up on new foods. A baby needs to try a new food 11 times before they decide whether or not they like it. We can do the same with older kids. There's also nothing wrong with a little bribery. "Try this and I'll give you this." It works.
Parents, do you let your Nanny take your child out of Hoboken to do something fun? I have taken my charges to Battery City Park, the Liberty Science Center, and the Central Park Zoo. I am curious if you let your Nanny do the same? If you don't let your Nanny leave Hoboken, why not? I understand having a schedule of activities, but if your child doesn't have loads of activities. It can also be frustating if your child is young or if you have an older child and a newborn, but it's nice to get out of Hoboken once in a while. I enjoyed it!
I am thinking about having the first ever Hoboken Nanny and Parents discussion. I am curious to know how many people would attend. Place is TBD and time would be in the evening when Parents get home and Nannies leave to go home. However, it's not going to be a negative discussion. More informative with questions and answers. Also looking at situations, but not towards a specific person. Any takers?
Please email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com or comment below if you are interested in attending. I don't have a set date. I am just trying to get a feel of how many would attend.
A child's development is my biggest concern. I spend 50 hours a week with your children. The least that you people can do is notice how well your children have done over the years. I have taught them to sleep well, eat well, and now talk and read well, yet you have the balls to try to compare what I've done versus what you've done. This is not a competition of who teaches what. We are a team. I don't care if you taught your kids to say thank you. WE taught your kids to say thank you. I also don't care if you took your kids to Pier A to kick a ball.
Your competition contest makes you look weak and unstable. Save it.
Sometimes I wonder if the Parents that I work for are as incapable in their jobs as they are as Parents. Like for instance, they ask the dumbest questions in the world. "Do we have to bathe him every night?" And this isn't their first kid. "Do we need to brush his teeth at night?" Umm, do you brush your teeth at night? Did you brush your teeth at night as a kid? Then, yes. "What kind of food does he need to eat?" Umm, he should be getting exposed to everything possible. And the best is when the older one tells me that his Parents give him soda with dinner!!!!!!! (By the way, no child should ever be drinking soda.)
I mean, seriously, Parents. I know that we live in Hoboken and you probably work late, but are you that dumb that you don't know these basic facts of raising a child? ESPECIALLY when you have multiple?! You decided to have these kids. I raise your kids. It's not that hard. I tell you what to do. You do it. It's that simple. Follow my directions and your kid will turn out nicely. Continue down your path and your kids will turn out to be the smelly cavity filled teeth kid. Not kidding.
I know that a lot of my posts are about money and that might make me seem greedy, but really, I'm not. I just think about this subject a lot. I come across a lot of Nannies(as you know) and I always wonder if the next Nanny makes more than me. Any normal human being thinks about this topic. In the corporate world, Parents, would you want to be paid more or less than the same person doing the same job? I can guarantee that 100% of you would say "more." Especially if you have more qualifications like a higher degree or more experience.
We live 1 mile from the greatest city in the world. Manhattan(along with San Fran) has the highest Nanny/Babysitting rates. So, naturally, Hoboken comes to a close second with those rates. So, why are Parents so hesitant to paying your Nanny/Babysitter the rate that we deserve? I totally get it if your caregiver doesn't have much experience, therefore, you shouldn't pay them high to start. But if your Nanny comes with a resume and fantastic references, why not pay what they ask?
Many moons ago when I decided to be a Nanny, I had experience. Not nearly what I have now, but I had enough. I would say more experience than a first time parent. Now I am a veteran Nanny. When I would meet families back then, sometimes I wouldn't hear back from them. A few families actually told me because my rate was too high. And the best part was, one of those families asked me to be their date night sitter! My rate was okay then. But too high to be their Nanny.
My thoughts on this are: if you want a Nanny who is 150% into being a Nanny and loves their job, pay her like she should be paid. A Nanny isn't just a slave because she works in your home. If a Nanny has loads of experience and can supply a reference at any given time, you know you nabbed a good one. Pay her like a great one. If she has the experience in raising a child, knows how to deal with special needs, food issues, has CPR and first aid certifications, all of those have taken her time and money. If she doesn't have a college degree, that's ok. If she does, that's amazing. Pay her because she has one. A Nanny job isn't a BS job. It's my job that I love. I'm tired of not being paid up to date wages just because I don't work in the corporate field.
I came across this amazing list of traits of an amazing Nanny. I fit every single one of these. Does your Nanny?
A great nanny genuinely loves the company of children. Nannies spend a majority of their day with little adult interaction and must truly enjoy spending their time with children.
A great nanny has a basic understanding of child development. Nannies are childcare specialists and are responsible for providing the children with developmentally appropriate experiences.
A great nanny advocates for the children in her care. Nannies are willing to speak up if their charges’ well-being is compromised or if something is not in their best interest, while recognizing the parents have final say.
A great nanny has lots of energy. Nannies are responsible for actively engaging the children in their care and must have the energy to do so.
A great nanny has a reserve of patience. Nannies spend countless hours with children and must be able to handle children’s moods and behaviors without losing their temper or becoming outwardly irritated.
A great nanny is safety conscious. Nannies are solely responsible for the children when they are on duty and must consider the children’s safety first and foremost.
A great nanny is a good communicator. Nannies have to effectively relay and receive information from parents and children. Solid communication skills are required.
A great nanny is flexible. Life with children can be unpredictable. Nannies must be able to adapt to the situations they face.
A great nanny is understanding. Nannies are in the business of caring for others. Compassion and understanding are paramount.
A great nanny has a nurturing spirit. Nannies are responsible for supporting and encouraging children and must be able to foster their development.
A great nanny is reliable. Parents rely on nannies so that they can fulfill their obligations. Nannies must be able to be counted on.
A great nanny is responsible. Nannies are accountable for the children in their care. They must be capable of proving quality childcare.
A great nanny is trustworthy. Parents depend on nannies to meet or exceed the terms of their working relationship. Nannies are trusted to do their job well and to provide outstanding care.
A great nanny is respectful. Nannies and parents may not always agree on childrearing practices or decisions. Nannies must be respectful of the parents and their practices and honor the authority they have.
A great nanny has sound judgment. Nannies share responsibility for the children’s health and development and must be able to make choices that are in the children’s best interests.
A great nanny is organized. Nannies have many responsibilities throughout the day and must be organized to ensure that they fulfill their duties and complete their tasks.
A great nanny is self-motivated. Nannies don’t have someone constantly looking over their shoulders offering praise for a job well done. Nannies must be motivated to always do their job to the best of their abilities.
A great nanny is prepared to handle an emergency. Children get hurt and natural disasters and accidents happen. Nannies must know how to handle an emergency if one were to arise.
A great nanny is creative. Nannies must engage the minds of the children in their care. To work as a nanny, imagination is required.
A great nanny is proactive. When it comes to discipline, safety and meeting the children’s needs, nannies must be proactive rather than reactive.
A great nanny has a clean criminal background. Nannies help raise children to become good, law abiding citizens and serve as role models to the children in their care. Because of the intimate nature of the job, nannies should not have a history of criminal activity.
A great nanny has strong morals. Nannies help shape a child’s worldview and set their internal compass. It should be evident nannies know right from wrong and must be of sound moral character.
A great nanny is able to form a connection with children. To develop bonds with the children in their care nannies must be able to connect with children. Nannies naturally make connections with kids.
A great nanny wants to be a nanny. To work as a nanny a caregiver must love the nature of the job. Those who look to nanny because they can’t find other types of employment rarely stay in the field for long.
A great nanny is committed to making a positive difference in the lives of the children in her care. Nannies influence the children in their care and must acknowledge the importance of the role they play in the lives of the children. Nannies must commit to making a positive difference in the lives of the children for whom they care.
Yesterday, Friday, me and the turds were playing baseball on the turf at Church Square near 5th Street. It was around 3pm and there were 3 Nannies but not near their kids. They were a little older, maybe 5 or 6 years old. They were playing by themselves, so my older charge went to go play with them. I ended up spending the entire time playing with these kids while their Nannies did absolutely nothing. I just kept looking over at them while I was pitching the ball to the kids. What were the 3 Nannies doing? They were on their phones for the whole two hours that we were there. The only reason I heard the two boys names was because one of the Nannies would occasionally tell them to share the ball.
Hey Nannies, how about you play with the kids you watch? Or is that too much for you? I hope the Parents of these boys reads this. You are awful Nannies.
Bonus season is almost here! In 1 month from now, I will start my bonus series! This is very important for EVERYONE. Parents with Nannies, Parents with Babysitters, and Parents who send their kids to daycare need to read this! Gift giving and bonuses are not just for corporate world! Nannies, Babysitters, and Daycare teachers all take care of your one common thing: your most prized possessions, YOUR KIDS. TREAT YOUR CAREGIVERS THE RIGHT WAY, NO MATTER WHAT!
I babysit for a few families in town. One family in particular never leaves me money for dinner and always stiffs me at the end of the night. It's either they don't have cash and have to write me a check, which is fine. But often when they do have cash, they don't have enough. So, I'm not paid in full. It's usually only a dollar or two, but I still get very annoyed since that's money that I deserve. This family sends their only child to daycare and don't use me that often, so maybe they think it's no big deal. To me it is. A dollar is a dollar. I feel weird reminding them the next time because that makes me seem money hungry. Any help on what I can say? Thanks, Jessica"
Jessica, I hear you on this. Think about what is more important to you. A dollar or the possibility of losing a family over a dollar. I know it is VERY pathetic for Parents to stiff their babysitter...the person who takes such good care of their child(ren). I truly believe that Parents just don't get the whole babysitting aspect. Some do, some don't. At the same time, if it annoys you that much, talk to them. Say "The past couple of times you have shorted me (X amount) and it adds up. I rely on this money for bills. I know to you that it's not much, but even a dollar can help me." But really, I know it stinks, but to me, a dollar isn't worth the lost of a family because this could make them angry.
Thank you for your question!
Have any questions or comments? Email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com
The dad ambushed me today and stayed home from work. YAY. The kids were awful!!!!!!!
The best part of it was that the dad told me he was "too tired to babysit" his kids. Yep. I know that I'm paid to do this, however, a dad does not "babysit" his kids. A dad is the dad, not a babysitter. WTF!
What did he do all day you ask? I don't even know. He wasn't sick. He just made the kids crazy by walking in and out of where the kids were which then made them cry every time he left the room. COOL BEANS, DAD!
Today, the runts and I were walking to Church Square Park.. I couldn't believe my eyes. It was about 3pm and we were on Willow and 4th Street. There was a Mom riding her bike with her son in tow. Both WITHOUT helmets. I could not believe that this mother was riding her bike and not leading by example. I mean, as a Parent that's what you're supposed to do, right? Right. What's the safe thing to do? Mom, you wear a helmet so that your son knows that it is mandatory to wear a helmet. I mean, has she not heard of a traumatic brain injury? Does she not know that she should be wearing a helmet, and better yet, her own SON should be wearing a helmet with no question??
Mom, you get a big FAIL. You are teaching your son to be unsafe.
I was hanging out in Church Square with the runts this afternoon. There was a Nanny there with a little blonde girl, I think her name was something with a "B." The Nanny was African American. They had a navy Bugaboo stroller. The Nanny did not say one word to the girl for the entire hour that we were there. And then I realized that the Nanny had her earbuds in!!!! Please tell me why would a Nanny need her buds in while at a park? Also, this Nanny was not watching this little girl. God forbid the girl need her Nanny and she was screaming but the Nanny couldn't even hear her because her headphones were in her ears!
If anyone knows this Nanny and the family that she Nannies for, someone please tell the Parents. There is no reason to have buds in anytime during the work day.
I want to give this very prestigious award to a fantastic Mom of Hoboken.
She is African American with two kids: a boy who is about 7 years old, and a girl who is about 5 years old.
Mom, you absolutely suck and deserve to be locked up in jail and have your kids raised by wolves, who would probably be a better parent than you.
Story: I saw this woman walking on Washington Street. The kids were playing a game and running ahead. This awesome mom was on her phone, barely screaming ahead so the kids would stop. Finally, after about 4 minutes and still walking slow, the mom gets off her phone and every other word out of her mouth was the f bomb. "Why these f'in kids always f'in runnin the f ahead...blah blah blah." So, she finally catches up to her kids. And she grabs them and starts yelling at them, still with the f word. Really. She was cursing like no other at her kids. I wish a cop was around to cuff her and test her for drugs because it was ridiculously disgusting how she was talking to her kids. I felt so sad for the kids who had to be surrounded by their mother and her mouth. Truly a disgusting woman.
Thank you, psycho. You are the best mom in all of Hoboken!
Also, I hope you aren't a Nanny. Because I would love to see you talk to another kid like that.
On Saturday as I was walking through town, I came across a cute little boy with his mom. I guess he wanted a chocolate milk and they were outside an establishment on Washington Street that had one. So, what happens next? The little boy is supposed to say "thank you so much, Mom. You're the best!" Right? Nope. This little blonde kid brat throws a huge fit and screams "This isn't what I wanted! Not this chocolate milk! I don't want that chocolate milk!!!"
The mother proceeded to ask what the little brat wanted and she took him inside to get a different milk.
Um, excuse me?
As a Nanny, one of my favorite things to do is watch how Parents interact with their kids. So, I watched this interaction until they left the scene.
Ok, so let's talk about what should have REALLY happened here.
If you're standing on the middle of Washington Street and you let your son talk to you like that, there's a huge red flag that you are a sucky parent. No kid should talk to an adult like that.
Then, if your kid asks for a chocolate milk and you buy him one(don't even get me started on the purchase of the second one), the kid better have said please and thank you. If he doesn't, he's a huge rich boy brat and deserves to spend 2 weeks with me and he'll know please and thank you. Let alone that he should never speak to an adult in that tone.
Lastly, if your kid throws a tantrum over a chocolate milk, there are deeper issues. Really. A chocolate milk doesn't vary. I mean even YooHoo tastes just as good as the Horizon Organic chocolate milk.
I got an email from a babysitter about her experience last week. I can't believe this one. She wrote:
"Last week I babysat for a family that originally asked me to come at 6:30pm. At 6:15pm, just when I was about to leave, the dad texted me asking me to come at 7pm. So, I replied saying that it was fine. I got there, played with the kids, put them to bed, and hung out until the parents got home. The parents got home at 9:20 and only paid me from 7-9:20. This made me SO angry since they asked me 15 minutes before I was supposed to be there to come 30 minutes later. They should have paid me from the original time. And the fact that they only paid until 9:20, not 9:30 just makes me sick. Help me, Hoboken Nanny!"
So, girl, I am so disgusted by people like this. This has happened to me in the past and I never worked for them again. I do not have time for people who treat me like the help. And either should you. You are their babysitter and if they don't respect your life and time, then you should stop working for them.
It is disrespectful for parents to ask to come later and not pay from the original time. Parents, does it ever occur to you that your Nanny and Babysitter are accepting the job to watch your kids because they need the money? We don't make millions. If you tell your Babysitter to come at 6:30 and then you decide for him or her to come later, stop being a cheap ass and pay from the earlier time.
That is disgusting.
And seriously people, stop paying in 5, 10, 15 minute increments. You pay by the half hour. Our time is valuable. Your salaried job isn't paid like that and ours isn't either.
Do.The.Right.Thing. Treat your Nanny and Babysitter the right way.
Here's a topic that I have been meaning to write about and has slipped my mind until I do it again, which is about 7 times a day. Peeing and pooping with the door open.(No, I don't poop 7 times a day, but you get the gist.)
Nannies, do you do this? Because I do. I take care of an older kid and a baby, so I have to keep the door open to hear/see what is always going on. And then of course I think about a Nanny Cam and whether or not this family has one while I'm pooping with the door open.
But Parents, does it weird you out knowing that I poop and pee with the door open just to make sure your kids are ok? Would you prefer I didn't?
It doesn't bother me to have kids walking and crawling in and out, but I keep the door open because I care about the safety of the kids. I also worry that a neighbor sees me pooping and peeing, but that doesn't bother me as much as if something were to happen to the kids.
So does anyone else do this? And Parents, do you care that I do this?
Sorry, I know this whole post is TMI but in Hoboken, we live closely and why not know!
Being a Nanny, I do a lot of stuff for the Parents that I shouldn't. I know that if I didn't work in Hoboken, I wouldn't have to deal with grocery deliveries, missed packages, or even a milk run to the bodega next door. I guess since I'm around all day with the kids, I have to do these things.
But let me tell you. I do not enjoy doing these things.
Why would I want to unpack YOUR groceries or wait around all day for a package that you should have sent to YOUR office. I was hired to be a Nanny, not a house manager. If you want me to be a house manager, I want a salary of at least $120k and a vacation home in the Bahamas.
Please do me a favor: when I do YOUR favors, acknowledge how helpful I am. If I go above and beyond, buy me a gift card to DD or just tell me how much you appreciate me. Since you make me stay at home with two kids on a gorgeous fall day, I would love to hear how grateful you are of me for waiting and unpacking.
In past years, I would occasionally babysit for another family on weekends. And because it was a weekend, the parents would offer me wine and beer. While I appreciate the fact that they felt comfortable with me having a glass of wine, I always felt that it was inappropriate. I was working so therefore, why would I drink? If I wanted to drink, I wouldn't have been babysitting and instead, I would be getting trashed on Washington Street.
I know that parents drink, but the point is, parents CAN drink because it's their kids. Also, why would I risk having a drink on the job? I mean, can you imagine if there was a Nanny Cam? Do you even realize what a parent can do with that video? I can see the headlines now "Babysitter drinking on the job!"
Yes, just what I need.
Nannies, have you ever been offered alcohol on the job? Did you drink it?
I absolutely cannot stand when neighbors get in my biz. We live in a community where we live on top of each other. That's Hoboken. Especially the building that I work in, it's kind of like Maxwell Place, but it's not Maxwell Place. It's a huge apartment building where everyone knows everyone and if your baby is crying, then the neighbors on all angle's know.
I have ears for crying. I don't jump the second the baby bumps his head. I sleep train by letting him cry. If he cries it's because he is hungry, teething, or cranky. Otherwise, he's a very happy baby.
Insert annoying as hell neighbors. The neighbor mother is a SAHM and hears a pin drop. I am a wonderful Nanny and have nothing to hide. Lately, the parents that I work with have been telling me how their neighbor makes comments about the kids under my care. "Oh he was really loud today" or "I heard jumping." Uhh, yeah, they are kids, idiot. I dance with the boys while we listen to music and sing together. But, also, they are kids. What do you expect? I don't use pacifiers, I let the baby cry.
This makes me think of one thing: do the parents that I Nanny for ask their neighbor to keep an ear out?
Parents, have you done this? Email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com or comment below!
As I was playing in Church Square Park yesterday, (and this isn't the first time I noticed) I was trying to understand why these Nannies just plop themselves down and don't move for the entire afternoon. They sit in the toddler park across from O'Nieals. Most of them are West Indian, with an Asian woman in there, too. They bring everything that they need for the day(I hope) and make that their place for eating, napping, pooping, and playing.
Parents, do you know this? Do you realize that your kid sleeps in a stroller all day? And are you okay with this?
It seems like all these Nannies are friends, so if one has to go to the bathroom, another Nanny supposedly watches the kid. I think that is the worst idea in the world. Just leaving a child with a random stranger.
I didn't see any single one of these Nannies, and there were about 7-8 of them, up and playing with their charges. All were sitting on the equipment or ground.