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Monday, August 19, 2013
When you don't want to acknowledge that your child may have Autism
It's a very difficult topic to talk to any parent about. Your kid is different. But not in a way that you want to acknowledge. You know they hit their head, flap their hands, and repeat things, but they seem normal otherwise. And you convinced yourself that she is.
However, you know she isn't.
I don't wish this upon anyone. It is one of the saddest experiences I've ever had to deal with. As a Nanny, the one thing I want in life is for all my charges, past, present, and future, to be happy and to live wonderful lives. Two of my kids have autism. Both diagnosed and both very difficult to handle, but somehow, I did it for many years. From the beginning, I knew that both kids were on the spectrum. Repetition, head banging, lack of verbal skills, and food issues were the immediate giveaway.
The parents did not want to believe it. And as the Nanny, what was I supposed to do? I couldn't take the children to the specialists. They aren't my own children. All I could do was be there for them and have patience. Because that's what it took to help them overcome their daily obstacles. I encourage any families to seek a diagnosis as soon as you think something could be wrong. The earlier the intervention, the better the help. It's definitely not easy, but don't ignore it. And if you need someone to talk to about being upset, come to me! I know what you're feeling.
The cell phone debate irks me in many ways. God, it's just a phone. But it's our life now. Which brings me to...the CELL PHONE NANNY! (clap clap clap) Being at a few parks on a daily basis, I see The Cell Phone Nannies everywhere. They usually are not American(but hey, maybe I'm not either?!) and usually speak everything but English. I find that the kids of these obnoxious Nannies are not as verbal as say...the kids I watch. That's because I speak English and talk to my kids like an adult.(Let's not even get into adults talking to kids in "baby" talk.) But seriously, why are there so many Nannies here that do not talk to their charges? I see the same Nannies constantly on their phones or blue teeth(like that one?) and just talk talk talk. What the hell can someone talk about for so long? And parents, do you even know that your Nanny sucks and is always on the phone?? Only if you have a Nanny cam I guess.
Nannies! Get off the phone! Interact with your kid for once! Sing to them while you're walking down Washington Street, say the color of the cars, do something other than be on your phone for God's sake!! And parents, I can say the same about you but most of you interact more than your Nanny does.
"My wife chose our Nanny. I find her to be rude and obnoxious. Now I'm afraid that my kids are learning bad things from her. Sometimes I hear curse words come out of their mouth but we do not talk like that. What should I do?"
Since you were not in the choosing process of your Nanny(and I want to know why you weren't since it should be a family decision), this is something that you need to talk to your wife about first. What did your wife love about your Nanny so much that she had to make the ultimate decision? On the other hand, since you are the man of the house, you need to talk to your children and ask where they are hearing those words from. Also ask what else goes on when Nanny is around. Strongly tell them that those words are unacceptable and should not be repeated under any circumstance. When kids repeat curse words, a good rule to get them to stop is by threatening to take toys away. "If I hear that word, I'm going to have to take a toy." This could be a good situation for a nanny cam or to sit down and ask your Nanny what's going on. Let her know that curse words are not tolerated. If you truly don't think she's a good fit, maybe it's time to start looking for a new Nanny.
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