The Hoboken Favor

Being a Nanny, I do a lot of stuff for the Parents that I shouldn't. I know that if I didn't work in Hoboken, I wouldn't have to deal with grocery deliveries, missed packages, or even a milk run to the bodega next door.  I guess since I'm around all day with the kids, I have to do these things.  

But let me tell you. I do not enjoy doing these things. 

Why would I want to unpack YOUR groceries or wait around all day for a package that you should have sent to YOUR office.  I was hired to be a Nanny, not a house manager.  If you want me to be a house manager, I want a salary of at least $120k and a vacation home in the Bahamas.  

Please do me a favor: when I do YOUR favors, acknowledge how helpful I am. If I go above and beyond, buy me a gift card to DD or just tell me how much you appreciate me. Since you make me stay at home with two kids on a gorgeous fall day, I would love to hear how grateful you are of me for waiting and unpacking. 

Is that so difficult?

Stupid Parents

In past years, I would occasionally babysit for another family on weekends.  And because it was a weekend, the parents would offer me wine and beer.  While I appreciate the fact that they felt comfortable with me having a glass of wine, I always felt that it was inappropriate.  I was working so therefore, why would I drink?  If I wanted to drink, I wouldn't have been babysitting and instead, I would be getting trashed on Washington Street.  

I know that parents drink, but the point is, parents CAN drink because it's their kids.  Also, why would I risk having a drink on the job?  I mean, can you imagine if there was a Nanny Cam?  Do you even realize what a parent can do with that video?  I can see the headlines now "Babysitter drinking on the job!"  

Yes, just what I need.  

Nannies, have you ever been offered alcohol on the job?  Did you drink it? 

PESKY NEIGHBORS

I absolutely cannot stand when neighbors get in my biz.  We live in a community where we live on top of each other.  That's Hoboken.  Especially the building that I work in, it's kind of like Maxwell Place, but it's not Maxwell Place.  It's a huge apartment building where everyone knows everyone and if your baby is crying, then the neighbors on all angle's know.  

I have ears for crying.  I don't jump the second the baby bumps his head. I sleep train by letting him cry.  If he cries it's because he is hungry, teething, or cranky.  Otherwise, he's a very happy baby.  

Insert annoying as hell neighbors.  The neighbor mother is a SAHM and hears a pin drop.  I am a wonderful Nanny and have nothing to hide.  Lately, the parents that I work with have been telling me how their neighbor makes comments about the kids under my care.  "Oh he was really loud today" or "I heard jumping."  Uhh, yeah, they are kids, idiot.  I dance with the boys while we listen to music and sing together.  But, also, they are kids.  What do you expect?  I don't use pacifiers, I let the baby cry.  

This makes me think of one thing: do the parents that I Nanny for ask their neighbor to keep an ear out?  

Parents, have you done this?  Email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com or comment below!  

WEST INDIAN STROLLER MAFIA IN CHURCH SQUARE PARK

As I was playing in Church Square Park yesterday, (and this isn't the first time I noticed) I was trying to understand why these Nannies just plop themselves down and don't move for the entire afternoon. They sit in the toddler park across from O'Nieals. Most of them are West Indian, with an Asian woman in there, too.  They bring everything that they need for the day(I hope) and make that their place for eating, napping, pooping, and playing.  

Parents, do you know this?  Do you realize that your kid sleeps in a stroller all day?  And are you okay with this?  

It seems like all these Nannies are friends, so if one has to go to the bathroom, another Nanny supposedly watches the kid.  I think that is the worst idea in the world.  Just leaving a child with a random stranger. 

I didn't see any single one of these Nannies, and there were about 7-8 of them, up and playing with their charges.  All were sitting on the equipment or ground.  

NOT GOOD!

BABYSITTER ETTIQUETTE

So here I was, covering for a friend of mine to babysit for the family that she Nannies for.  The kids were great and easy to bed.  The parents left me money for dinner which was AWESOME.  (If you aren't doing that, make sure you start doing that because it is very much appreciated!)
I took a nice little nap while watching TV.  That was also very nice.

And then BAM.  The parents came home and didn't have enough money to pay me for the night. 

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh WHAT? 

How do you idiot parents not have enough money to pay me at the end of doing my job when you know that I am there watching your kids?  WHY? I mean, seriously?  As if I'm not already tired enough, you need to go on and tell me how you were surrounded in the city by ATM's and just couldn't get to one of the million ATM's in Manhattan...and even HOBOKEN!  

Take away of this story:  Have enough cash to pay your babysitter.  Checks are unacceptable.  Babysitters want cash.  Stop being lazy and go to an ATM.  You're rich.  We know you have money.  

By the way, thanks for dinner.

ATTENTION HOBOKEN PARENTS!

When your Nanny comes to your apartment in the morning, it is time for you to leave.  No, I don't want you sticking around because you don't want to go to work.  Yes, your child is a complete disaster brat when you're around.  Yes, I would have stayed home a bit longer if I knew you weren't leaving.  

Come on people.  I know you don't realize it, but Parents, when you're around, your child is a completely different person.  Which makes my job so much more difficult.  They know that if they cry about dropping a toy, you will immediately pick them up and comfort them.  They know that if they don't want to eat something you won't make them.  Whereas I would not pick up your child if they dropped a toy and I would make them eat what they don't want to because I know that they in fact do like that food.  

When I get to your house in the morning, please please please leave.  I don't want you to help me give the kids breakfast, I just want you to leave so I can go about my way of doing things.  You are not helpful, but in fact, you make things worse.  

If you want to stay and hang out, then please tell me to come later.  And if you decide to ambush me and just stay home for the day, please tell me to have the day off.  Having parents around makes my job suck and then I hate it and then I won't want to work.  

The end.  

Parents, go to work when I come to work.  

The iPad Addiction
Part II

I come across a lot of children, as most people in Hoboken do.  I cannot get over the fact that Parents let their children use the iPAd so much. I see kids at the park using the iPad instead of playing.  At restaurants instead of coloring.  I just can't believe how one tablet can make a child who doesn't even know what their doing with it become so obsessive. 

So, here was I, sitting at a restaurant on Washington Street with some friends.  Next to us was a family. With a baby that could have been a year, but totally could have been as young as 10 months old.  The food arrived and the iPad was taken from the addicted baby.  I bet you can guess what happened next.  Yes, an all out 2 year old tantrum.  I wanted to ring the necks of these Parents for letting this happen.  Not only does it disturb the other patrons, but I don't think they realize what kind of monster they have created.  I mean, Parents, do you realize that the iPad is an addiction?  Your 1 year old child doesn't understand the "game" on the iPad.  They see colors.  Your 1 year old child isn't learning the alphabet, they are guessing what letter goes next.  

Remember when we were kids sitting at a restaurant?  Yeah, we had to color.  Leave the iPad at home and bring crayons.  Your child will be a hell of a lot smarter learning to draw letters instead of guessing.