Emailed question from a Hoboken Mom:

 "My Nanny has been showing up to work late for the past 5 days.  It's only about 15 minutes, but she has no real excuse.  I need to get to work on time.  What should i do?"

Ahh, the unreliable Nanny.  She's probably a Church Square park bench Nanny.  Only kidding...but seriously, I hope she isn't.  

I am sure you asked her the obvious: "Why are you late?"  If she has no reason...ie-there was a car accident on the Westside Highway, the E train was running late, blah blah blah...I would give her a warning.  A warning includes 1) you are unable to pay her for the time she is late or 2)you can scare her with letting her go because you need someone to depend on. I'm not sure how long she has been with your family, but she should know that her showing up on time gives you enough time to get to work when you're supposed to. There should be no tolerance for tardiness.  Your job enables her to watch your kids.  Her job is being there for you and your family. Plus, timing is everything in the NYC/Hoboken area.  5 minutes late and you can miss your next meeting!

A late Nanny is a not-so-good Nanny.  

Thank you for your question!  For more questions, email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com

 

BUTTING HEADS WITH THE PARENTS

 

There have been times in my Nanny career that I completely disagreed with a parent.  Specifically, when parents let their kids climb on tables and jump off chairs, or didn't reprimand bad language.  To me, that is completely disrespectful and not good behavior to encourage(who doesn't agree with that?!).  And then there comes a time when no matter what the Nanny says, the kids will only listen to their parents when they are around.  So, there's no point in trying to teach them the right thing.  

I always found it very discouraging when a parent didn't take my side on good behavior.  Maybe I'm a stickler, and it's okay to have fun, but it's not okay to become a gross disrespectful human being.  Parents should be the model, while the Nanny continues the same behavior.  Not, the Nanny should be the model and the parents continue the behavior.  Kids want to be their parents!

Be the teacher, not the follower.  If you, the parent, need help on how to interact with your child and guide them to become nice, respectful adults, ask your Nanny.  If your Nanny is a pig, find a new one!

  

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE NANNY CONTRACT

As you've gathered, I hope, I have been a Nanny for many many years.  For some of the families, I've had a Nanny contract.  Other families, there was no contract, and often, some sticky situations. Situations like days off or pay raises.  While these are not earth shattering problems, it is very important to have everything discussed and written out to prevent awkward situations. 

The reality is, this is my occupation.  There was a situation where a family that I was nannying for decided(yes, last minute because they have another home) to take a two week vacation and left me high and dry.  No pay, barely a holiday bonus(a topic that I will tackle as holiday time comes!), and two weeks of nothing to do, since they told me last minute. Do you think that's fair?  Because I sure don't.  I have bills, mortgage, groceries, and life to pay for.  Two weeks of no pay is a bomb to my bank account.  

To be fair, I know it was my fault that we didn't discuss paid days off.  I know, I know, I know!  This is a lesson that both Nannies and families should understand.  Nannies: make sure this is discussed!  Families: if you consider your Nanny as part of your family, treat them like it!

THE DREADED PLAYDATE

 

The amount of playdate's that I have taken the kid(s) on is insane.  It's like all they want are playdates with kids that they never get along with.  They fight about what toy to play with and why Johnny won't play with the toy Joey wants to play with and blah blah blah.  Why can't siblings play with each other and only children play with their imaginary friends?  Play with your friends at school and make new friends at the park.  Forget this "Playdate" crap.  It's so corny to call it that anyway.  Remember when we could just say "Can I go to Kristen's house?" Hoboken has become notorious for using the word "Playdate" and it makes me cringe!  And what's worse for the Nanny is that I actually have to find stuff to talk about with the other Nanny, or God forbid, Mom.  I mean most of the time Nannies talk about the family we work for.  

And by the way, when there's an older kid in the picture and they have to be picked up from school during a playdate, don't think about leaving the other one the playdate.  I don't get paid extra to watch more kids.  It's your kid, Nanny(or Mom)! 

Ugh...playdates!

GOOD or BAD NANNY SIGHTINGS

There are plenty of Nannies in Hoboken.  Sometimes Nannies are in bad situations, while others are doing an excellent job.  So now the Hoboken community should know!  If you see a good or bad Nanny, send me an email and I'll post it.  The parents have the right to know.  The more specific, the better!  

HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com

THE MICRO MANAGE MAMA

God.  Just thinking about this woman makes me annoyed.  

Many moons ago...so, 8 years ago, I was nannying for what seemed to be this really nice family.  Um, yeah.  Weeks go by and I started to get phone calls from the MMM(micro manage mama).  Telling me what to do, where to go, what to eat, how to eat, blah blah blah.  I mean, come on woman, I've been a Nanny for years.  I know how to cook some veggies and I know that kids have to eat the veggies.  I know where to go in Hoboken and which parks are good. It got very annoying, very fast.  Maybe she didn't trust me?  Maybe she thought that I wasn't a good Nanny despite talking to 3 references(all glowing, BTW!)  Who knows.  All I'm saying is, it sucked and I'm sure a working parent would not want their boss in the corporate world to act like that. 

So, Parents, I know it's hard to let another adult take care of your kid(s), but give us Nannies some credit.  We know what we're doing.  We have raised far more kids than you.  Being a Nanny isn't just a person who watches your kids.  Being a Nanny is just like you...except we didn't conceive your kid.  We just love them and take care of them.   A MMM is an awful awful person.  I can't tell if a MMM is better or worse than hell?  It's fine to talk to your Nanny, but don't tell your Nanny what to do. Try not to be a MMM.  It will NOT go over well with your awesome Nanny!

And when I say "we" for us Nannies, I really mean "Me."  Only kidding.  But most of the HobokeNannies.  Some are just awful.

 

The (Church Square) Park Bench Nannies

Every.Single.Day when I take my charge to Church Square Park, I cringe that I have to walk past the same park bench nannies.  Oh, you don't know what a "Park Bench Nanny" is?  It's your Nanny who is too fat and too lazy to take your kid out of their stroller and actually play with them.  Wait, parents pay their nanny to actually interact, right?  You mean, Nannies aren't getting paid to sit on a park bench and speak their native tongue on the phone???

Nannies, why is it so damn difficult for you to go to Church Square Park and chase around your charges?  I do it. And I absolutely love seeing how happy my charge is! 

The sad thing is...these kids that I walk past, aren't even crying because they are so used to sitting in their stroller in the park.  Do you have any idea how much they would LOVE to go on a swing?  Or what about go down a slide?

It breaks my heart to see these kids sitting in the stroller while their lazy nannies are talking about God knows what, instead of interacting with the children they are supposed to be taking great care of.  

I'm sad for you, parents.