Sunday, August 18, 2013

THE JEALOUS PARENTS

vs. 

THE ABSENT PARENTS

The first family that I was a Nanny for was a very wealthy family here.  Financially, they treated me okay for the time, but mentally, I felt whipped.  They were the absent parents.  The typical hard working Wall Street father and the stay at home mom with a full time Nanny(me).  Both were hardly ever home.  My personal life was nonexistent. The kids were nice...nothing special though.  But somewhat well behaved.  I did a lot.  And by a lot, I was their live out butler, dog walker, potty trainer, chef, parents, and anything else that you can think of.  I was the glue.  I liked the mom because she stayed out of my way and when we needed to be together, we talked like girlfriends. 

Fast forward a few years to my second family.  The complete opposite of my first family.  Working class, needed me, but didn't take advantage of me.  The mom and dad were not micro managers, however, the mom was jealous of my relationship with her kids.  And it was very noticeable.  The jabs at me about her kids wanting to be with me instead of her.  The "unintentional" smart ass remarks that I ignored.  I got angry, but she never knew.  The father also got jealous, but in a different way.  As a Nanny, the feelings that the kids develop towards me is not my problem.  They love me because I'm respectful and we have fun.  They will always love their mom and dad.

As I think about these two situations, I'm not sure which family I liked better.  The absent parents who were nice but rarely around, or the hands on parents but very jealous.  I keep in touch with both families but if I were ever to work with one family again, I think it would be the absent parents family.  Life was so much easier when I didn't have to worry about whether or not a mom would be sad that her kids wanted to go to the park with me.  It wasn't easy, but definitely a great lesson.  

Are the parents who are less involved in their children's lives not as attached to them?

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

What was the SAHM doing all day?? I don't get it. Isn't it to raise her children?

Hoboken Nanny said...

@Anonymous,

The SAHM was wealthy enough to not have to work and not raise her children. Although she had an interest in her children and was around often, she chose to have a Nanny to do most of the "raising."

What would she do all day? Let's see...she would shop, get massages, go out with friends, and honestly, probably cheat on her husband.