BAD MOM SIGHTING

We were in Church Square Park this morning, as usual, and I saw this woman with brown curly hair and her son.  He was playing in the area close to 4th Street.  He was getting bored, so the Mom opened the gate and out ran the boy.  He was probably 4 years old, but a very tall 4 year old.  So without warning, the Mom ran after him and put him in his stroller.  

Sidenote: why does a 4 year old still sit in a stroller?  How lazy can you make a kid?  As soon as the kid is capable of walking without stopping and getting tired, ditch the stroller.  

Anyway, of course, the kid started to cry.  Does anyone know why he started to cry?  Because the Mom decided to discipline him for something that he didn't know he did wrong. 

Here's how the situation should have gone down:  The Mom notices the kid is bored.  The Mom should say "Honey, would you like to go to another area?"  The kid says "yes" and the Mom says "Ok, but you need to hold my hand as we walk to another area and if you don't listen, we are going home."

Is it that difficult?  

Sometimes I see both Parents and Nannies discipline a child for something that they don't know his wrong.  Explain the situation and give a consequence.  Not difficult, people.  Why would you want to deal with crying in the middle of Church Square when all you had to do was communicate.  Dummies!

Emailed Question: The Evil Mom

I got this Email from Mary who lives in Jersey City but is a Nanny here in Hoboken.

"Hi Hoboken Nanny.  I am contemplating whether I should quit my job.  I really love the kids.  But the mom is unbearable to work with.  She never takes my side if the kids say negative things about me.  When she's around the kids will tell me to go home and that they don't like me.  I can handle it, but shouldn't the mom discourage the behavior?  I am always very vocal about this, even with the mom around.   I have been with them since they were babies but now that they are talking, I am not getting backed up with encouraging positive behavior.  What should I do?"

Mary, here's what needs to happen: you need to tell the kids that it's unacceptable to say that someone.  Ask them how they would feel if someone said it to them and then talk about it.  But, you're right.  The Mom should be on your side.  She should discourage the behavior...that's her job as a Parent.  If she doesn't know that it annoys you, then pull her aside and tell her that you've talked about it with the kids and now it's her turn to be on your side.  It's pure evil if she isn't on your side because deep down, maybe she likes hearing her kids say those things.  But as part of the family (because that's what you are as the Nanny) everyone is on the same side.  

Bonus Update

I just realized that Hannukah is in 3 weeks.  I believe it starts on Thanksgiving Day.  Maybe the night before?  I'm not sure how Jewish holiday's work.  (Can someone tell me?) 

So...

This means, if your Nanny, Babysitter, Cleaning person, Dog walker, Teacher, or anyone who HELPS you, celebrates Hannukah, then their holiday bonus should be given then.  Afterall, why should someone whose holiday is earlier than Christmas wait until Christmas?  

I will post NEXT WEEK what Parents should be doing for these wonderful people in your life and what Nannies/Babysitters, Cleaners, Dog walkers should be doing for their bosses.  

Housekeeper Nanny

I'm just curious, but why do Parents want a Nanny who also does house work?  I'm not one of those Nannies, however, when I look at job postings on various Sitter sites, I notice that almost every posting is for a Nanny or Sitter who also will do "housekeeping."  

Here's what I do in terms of cleaning: cleaning up after meals and snacks, if there's a mess made by the kids I'll vacuum, kids laundry, and occasionally, I'll unload the dishwasher.  I don't enjoy unloading it, but I'll do it once in awhile to help the Parents.  

But what annoys me is this one posting in Hoboken where the family needs school drop off and then have the person go back to their apartment to clean.  WHAT IS THAT?  Nannies are not slaves and anyone stupid enough to agree to that job is dumb.  It's one thing to clean up after the kids as a Nanny, but get a housekeeper if you need cleaning.

Halloween Sightings

I really had a wonderful time with my charges on Halloween.  They were so adorable in their costumes.  I took them to the parade and we did some trick-or-treating on Washington before the Parents came to meet us and they continued through the evening.  Washington was full of adorable ghouls and really couldn't have been anymore crowded.  Nonetheless, it was Halloween!  

Let me go over things I saw:

-Lots of Nannies taking their charges trick-or-treating

-Lots of Nannies being slaves and pushing strollers while Parents take the kids trick-or-treating.  Really, Parents?  Let your Nanny leave early. 

-Parents unable to handle their children

-The parade sucked.  Seriously.  Two floats?  Lame.

-Awful candy given out on Washington.  Cheapskate stores.  

The Importance of Having the Same Nanny/Babysitter

It is very important that Parents understand that children love consistency.  Having the same Nanny for as long as you can is very important for a child's development.  It's great when a child can easily say bye in the morning when Parents leave.  Some people may think that if they have a different Nanny every year or multiple Sitters, it will help their child gain independence.  However, having different people come into your children's lives isn't healthy.  It doesn't let them develop a healthy attachment.  

So, here's some good advice on helping maintain a Nanny or Babysitter.  

1) Sometimes a Nanny or Sitter may quit because of lack of respect.  Be respectful to them.  It's not about how the kids treat the Nanny/Sitter, it's about 98% how the Parents treat her.  Parents say "thank you" and overall, ask how the Nanny/Sitter is.  Be interested in her life.  

2)  Treat the Nanny/Sitter well.  Meaning, respect.  If your kids say rude things, back up the Nanny, not your kids.  For example, if your child becomes a devil when a Parent is around and say things like "I don't like her" to your Sitter, it is the Parents obligation to knock it off.  When Parents don't show respect to the Nanny/Sitter, the kids won't. 

3)  Stop being cheap.  You get what you pay for.  Want a fantastic, reliable Caregiver?  Pay like you want one.  

4) Don't micro manage.  No one likes that person.  

5)  Your Nanny/Sitter's word should always be the right word.  Believe her.  You hired her because you trust her.  

Pooping Your Pants

A long long time ago, I Nannied for a family with two awful brats.  I'm not just calling them brats to be funny.  They were truly awful brats.  They were the worst when the Parents were around and just completely disrespectful.  

One day, we were on a playdate and the 5 year old girl decided to poop her pants.  No big deal.  It happens.  So, I cleaned her up and borrowed some clothes to get home in.  I put the dirty clothes in a plastic bag.  Everything was fine.  So, as you know from previous posts, the Mom was the Micro Manage Mama.  (I think I wrote about her in August.  The one who always called on my off time, who would tell me what the kids can eat..blah blah.)  We got home.  I made dinner, gave the kids a bath, everyone was great.  While the Mom was on her way home, she called me(as usual) and asked how the playdate was.  I told her that X pooped her pants and it was no big deal.  From the time we hung up to the time she got home, she had called the playdate Mom to see how I handled the situation.  Are you f'ing kidding me, lady?  Did I not just tell you that everything was fine????  The Mom got home and had the BALLS to tell me that she spoke with the playdate Mom to see how it went.  F YOU!  No wonder I quit!

Parents, if you don't trust your Nanny, DON'T HAVE A NANNY.