Emailed Question: The Evil Mom

I got this Email from Mary who lives in Jersey City but is a Nanny here in Hoboken.

"Hi Hoboken Nanny.  I am contemplating whether I should quit my job.  I really love the kids.  But the mom is unbearable to work with.  She never takes my side if the kids say negative things about me.  When she's around the kids will tell me to go home and that they don't like me.  I can handle it, but shouldn't the mom discourage the behavior?  I am always very vocal about this, even with the mom around.   I have been with them since they were babies but now that they are talking, I am not getting backed up with encouraging positive behavior.  What should I do?"

Mary, here's what needs to happen: you need to tell the kids that it's unacceptable to say that someone.  Ask them how they would feel if someone said it to them and then talk about it.  But, you're right.  The Mom should be on your side.  She should discourage the behavior...that's her job as a Parent.  If she doesn't know that it annoys you, then pull her aside and tell her that you've talked about it with the kids and now it's her turn to be on your side.  It's pure evil if she isn't on your side because deep down, maybe she likes hearing her kids say those things.  But as part of the family (because that's what you are as the Nanny) everyone is on the same side.