THE PACIFIER 
          ISN'T THAT A MOVIE? 

As I'm walking around town today, I have noticed a disgusting amount of huge kids(3 years and older) using pacifiers.  I mean, what the heck is going on here?  WHY????  Certainly your child is a little too old for this thing.  And on top of that, why are you not doing your job as a parent and just saying no?  It's all good if your kid is two years old and still using it.  I get it, it's a very difficult habit to break, and if it doesn't bother you, fine.  But to let your old ass child use a pacifier in public...you deserve to be judged.  And you deserve to go to parenting classes.  No, it's none of my business, but I used so much self control to not say something.  Do your job and be a parent and get rid of that thing.  

End rant. 

FAMILY REFERENCES

Every family that I've worked for has wanted references from previous families.  That's fine and dandy, I get it.  And since all of my references are GLOWING, there is no problem with supplying a name, phone number, and email.  But what about when a new Nanny asks the parents for a reference from an old Nanny or babysitter?  Would you allow it?

I've always wondered why some families that I worked for switched Nannies.  Maybe the pay wasn't increasing or maybe the Nanny was just awful and had to be fired.  Either way, I think the new Nanny deserves to hear from the previous one...just like families want to know that I was never in jail or a child thief!

There have been a few times when in my gut, I knew I should have asked for a Nanny reference. I also saw the previous Nannies around town but to not stir up drama, I never asked what their impression of the family was.  To this day, I am friendly with a Nanny that used to work for a family that I worked for.  I know we thought the same things: they were cheapskates, annoying, and the kid was a brat, but just in case either of us kept in touch, we never talk about it. But how do I know we thought the same thing?  I heard it through another Hoboken Nanny!  Also, how could we not think that?  They were jerks. 

Did I get your attention?

How much personal information do you give your Nanny & family?

Thinking back to all the great families that I have worked for, I often wonder how much personal information I have given in an unprofessional way.  What I was doing over the weekend or how drunk I got the night before.  Was it too much?  I had different types of relationships with each family.  Some were VERY professional, while others were very relaxed.  I was close with some moms and then others, I wouldn't go near with a 40 foot pole.  I like being able to be comfortable around my family.  Afterall, they tell me I'm part of the family, so why not talk about the craziness of my personal life?  

So, I'm thinking, Nannies, do you talk freely to your family?  And Parents, how much is too much?

Parents, do you know the difference?  Comment and discuss!

Emailed question from a Hoboken Mom:

 "My Nanny has been showing up to work late for the past 5 days.  It's only about 15 minutes, but she has no real excuse.  I need to get to work on time.  What should i do?"

Ahh, the unreliable Nanny.  She's probably a Church Square park bench Nanny.  Only kidding...but seriously, I hope she isn't.  

I am sure you asked her the obvious: "Why are you late?"  If she has no reason...ie-there was a car accident on the Westside Highway, the E train was running late, blah blah blah...I would give her a warning.  A warning includes 1) you are unable to pay her for the time she is late or 2)you can scare her with letting her go because you need someone to depend on. I'm not sure how long she has been with your family, but she should know that her showing up on time gives you enough time to get to work when you're supposed to. There should be no tolerance for tardiness.  Your job enables her to watch your kids.  Her job is being there for you and your family. Plus, timing is everything in the NYC/Hoboken area.  5 minutes late and you can miss your next meeting!

A late Nanny is a not-so-good Nanny.  

Thank you for your question!  For more questions, email me at HobokeNannySpy@gmail.com

 

BUTTING HEADS WITH THE PARENTS

 

There have been times in my Nanny career that I completely disagreed with a parent.  Specifically, when parents let their kids climb on tables and jump off chairs, or didn't reprimand bad language.  To me, that is completely disrespectful and not good behavior to encourage(who doesn't agree with that?!).  And then there comes a time when no matter what the Nanny says, the kids will only listen to their parents when they are around.  So, there's no point in trying to teach them the right thing.  

I always found it very discouraging when a parent didn't take my side on good behavior.  Maybe I'm a stickler, and it's okay to have fun, but it's not okay to become a gross disrespectful human being.  Parents should be the model, while the Nanny continues the same behavior.  Not, the Nanny should be the model and the parents continue the behavior.  Kids want to be their parents!

Be the teacher, not the follower.  If you, the parent, need help on how to interact with your child and guide them to become nice, respectful adults, ask your Nanny.  If your Nanny is a pig, find a new one!

  

 

THE IMPORTANCE OF THE NANNY CONTRACT

As you've gathered, I hope, I have been a Nanny for many many years.  For some of the families, I've had a Nanny contract.  Other families, there was no contract, and often, some sticky situations. Situations like days off or pay raises.  While these are not earth shattering problems, it is very important to have everything discussed and written out to prevent awkward situations. 

The reality is, this is my occupation.  There was a situation where a family that I was nannying for decided(yes, last minute because they have another home) to take a two week vacation and left me high and dry.  No pay, barely a holiday bonus(a topic that I will tackle as holiday time comes!), and two weeks of nothing to do, since they told me last minute. Do you think that's fair?  Because I sure don't.  I have bills, mortgage, groceries, and life to pay for.  Two weeks of no pay is a bomb to my bank account.  

To be fair, I know it was my fault that we didn't discuss paid days off.  I know, I know, I know!  This is a lesson that both Nannies and families should understand.  Nannies: make sure this is discussed!  Families: if you consider your Nanny as part of your family, treat them like it!